This Is How You Do It, Pastrami
by MBDTA
Summary: Nicole and pastrami aka Glorfindel have a romantic moment. Turkeys and pie present. One shot accompanyment to Fellowship of the Freaks, and it's sequels.


**This Is How You Do It, Pastrami . . . **

**Nickel's PoV**

Glorfindel waved me over.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked the elf, cramming myself next to him in a little niche, "You know, this is rather conspicuous."

Glorfindel gave me one of those looks.

"Yes you do." I began the difficult process of uncramming myself. I swear that niche was for decorative pillars with flowers or little cupid statues, NOT two elves.

Glorfindel sighed, "it's less conspicuous than you might think, and I didn't want you to get lost, considering where we're going."

"And that would be?"

"Somewhere that isn't on the maps."

"It sounds significant." I whispered conspiratorially, "But Kelsey's having issues in the kitchen because nobody seems to understand why she wants a thirty pound turkey."

"That's a bid turkey."

"Well a lot of people live here."

"Not that many."

"Enough to need a thirty pound turkey."

"True . . ."

"Anyways."

Glorfindel snapped out of it, "Come on." He led me outside and over the bridge, up the river and . . .

"Oh! It's so pretty!" I jumped up and down, "Une chute d'eau!"

"Er . . . yeah." Glorfindel tried so hard to ignore the spurts of French, "But look behind it."

I glared at him, "You're just trying to get me wet!"

"No!" He protested, "There's a surprise."

I crept up to it and peeked behind the sheet of water. There was a damp little hollow – only slightly bigger than the niche I'd just been crammed into, "There's nothing - mmph!" I fell over into the water. "Oi! C'est fois!" I yelped.

Glorfindel tried to help me up, but I just pulled him in. I've never seen him move that fast before. He was on the bank faster than – well – fast. "Ooh, that's cold." He was barely wet.

"So ha!"

"I didn't push you!" He protested.

"So?" I climbed up into the hollow – which was deeper than I'd thought. Glorfindel followed.

"You can see everything." He explained, "Without being seen!"

"Does anyone lelse know about this?" I asked him.

"Just Erestor." He explained, "We hide here whenever Elrond loses his ring."

"You mean the twins steal it."

"Precisely!"

We sat there for a bit in companionable silence, watching elves run around with Kelsey at their heels, looking for something resembling a giant turkey. When no one was close enough to hear us, we talked – about Elrond, the quest (which seems to enter every conversation), ourselves, certain elves from the past. Glorfindel told me stories from the first age – he even told me about the fall of Gondolin, something I never would have asked him about, it seemed too painful. But he brought it up, so I listened. As he told about how he had come back from Valinor, I rested my head on his lap. Gorfindel leaned down and brushed my damp hair out of my face. His face grew close, and – a scream rent the air.

"YOU STILL DON"T HAVE A TURKEY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

I jerked up, "I better go help Mandy contain Kelsey before she kills someone."

"Very well."

I left him sitting there, watching the chaos that had engulfed Rivendell. As I trudged up to the house, it hit me that I'd almost kissed Glorfindel. I stopped dead in my tracks for a moment, and then went to go strangle Kelsey for interrupting my romantic moment, but Mandy beat me to it. I found them making a pie and went to go change.

--

"Oh, Nickel!"

"Yes, Mandy?"

"Guess what Kelsey and I made?"

"Three point one four one-"

"No, we made Pie."

"That's what I was saying."

"Oh."

Kelsey barged in, "Nickel, try some pie! Aragorn absolutely adored it!"

I looked at the remains of what might have once been a pie – a rather nice pie I suppose when it was still pie. "Who else had some?" I asked.

"Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond, and some other random elf."

"Maybe you should make another pie."

"Why?"

"The original no longer looks edible."

Kelsey stared at her masterpiece, " I. Am. Going. To. Kill. That. Elf." She ground out and – thrusting the pie mush into my hands – ran off.

"I hope that elf isn't an idiot." I told Mandy.

"Don't worry; she'll just make him wash up."

"Poor Elf."

--

I found Glorfindel that evening – doing dishes.

"Did you mangle Kelsey's pie?"

He looked up innocently, "Me?"

"Yes, you."

"No." He returned to his task.

"Is that your final answer?"

"Yes."

I sat on a large table in the midst of the dishes, "have you ever washed dishes before?"

He dropped a plate and looked up, affronted, "What makes you ask that?"

"You're washing the china and knives at the same time."

"Is that bad?" Glorfindel hurriedly pulled his hands out of the soapy water.

"yes." I slid off the table, 'Go clean up that plate, and this is how you do it, Pastrami . . ."


End file.
